Part 7: Bald

This week had a lot of pros and cons. For starters, my mum visited and stayed for a week (pro). She spring cleaned our apartment and took me to all of my appointments. Another pro, I went into the Melbourne IVF and saw the doctor who said I seemed to be doing really well and could stop my blood thinning injections (YASSSS).

The not so good bit, so much of my hair came out that I couldn’t cover it up with my fringe anymore. It was also the result of my biggest meltdown so far, I looked in the mirror and saw a balding old man, ran to my bedroom and bawled my eyes out. I look like I have cancer.

Going bald
I look like an old man

I keep thinking about my biggest fear in this whole thing, that I will have kids and die while they are still young and miss out on so much. This made the decision of doing the full Britney Spears and shaving all my hair off easy. I wanted to own it.

We decided to film the shaving live on our Facebook page. In case you missed it, here it is:

Going Bald


  • Can finally put my head under the water in the shower whenever I like. No shower caps required
  • Don’t need to wash and dry my hair (hello time saver)
  • It takes 5 minutes to get ready, I was already pretty quick to get ready. But it’s one less thing to worry about before walking out the door.
  • Changing your look is super easy
  • Simon finds my bald head attractive
  • I get more head rubs


  • Buying wigs, they ain’t cheap.  I found the perfect human hair wig made of Brazilian hair, price tag says $3,500, computer says no.
  • When I go to the toilet in the middle of the night I scare myself with the face that looks back in the mirror
  • I have to think about coordinating my head scarf/beanie/wig with outfits
  • Wigs are hot and itchy

I got some recommendations from the nurses at the radiology clinic on where to find some good (cheaper) wigs. That led us to Creative Wigs in the city. The staff were very friendly and knew what they were talking about. 15 minutes later I walked out with some fun new hair, thanks Mum!

So much hair gone

I wasn’t the only person who had an appointment this week. Simon was booked in to give a sperm sample, I will pass over to him to tell you about his experience.

Heyo, I will try to keep this brief but will start by saying this is probably an experience I won’t forget.

We were on our way to the Andrology department of the Royal Women’s Hospital, which is located in Carlton. As Jaime mentioned, her mum Kerrie was in town and was with us for the day. As we arrived, I mentioned to Jaime and Kerrie that they can go grab a coffee and I will call when I was done. But they both said at the same time, “it’s ok we can just wait”. Not really thinking about what this meant, I just went along with it. We walked in and were greeted by this lovely older Chinese lady. I mentioned I was there to provide a ‘sample’ and she subsequently told me that she couldn’t find any of my information. That was the first thing to go wrong. The second was her sorting through other people’s documents who, as she put it, couldn’t provide a sample. The pressure starts to build from here.

Already i’m tapping the desk, looking around and observing the layout. Strangely the collection room was right in front of the front desk, and conveniently located right next to the collection room was the waiting room. They get to share a wall. How fun.

By the time it sank in that Jaime and my mother in law would be sitting in the room next to the room I would need to use to “provide a sample” it was too late to turn back. The lovely lady had found my details, provided me with a very small cup and instructed me to read the steps on the wall in the room and do my thing.

You don’t quite realise what real pressure is until you walk into a room, with very thin walls and know that everyone outside knows what you are in there for. Hearing the footsteps of people in the hallway way too clearly for you to be comfortable. There is a TV, which you know you can’t use and that’s about it.

Next part is unimportant, just know that nothing spilt.

I walked out, handed my sample to my friend at the counter and filled in a survey about the last time I had “provided a sample” for no real scientific reason. Apparently, you should save yourself for a few days before coming in (pun intended). Because if you don’t, they hold up your sample in the light, shake it a bit, and say, ‘yeah this should be ok’.

You then have your wife and your mother in law emerge from the next room and walk out with you. Let’s be honest though, starting the next conversation is weird and awkward and that’s why I will always remember my time at the Andrology unit in Carlton.

Jaime Hall
Jaime Hall


Jaime is a designer, writer, and co-founder of messy veggies.

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