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Settled: The Correct Way To Eat A Meat-Free Pie

Meat-Free pies are all the rage right now, but when it comes down to the correct way to eat said pie, the world remains divided.

We all know that it’s definitely not right to plonk it on a plate upside down and microwave it till its hot enough to burn the thin layer of skin off the top of your mouth. But even with this method ruled out immediately, there are still various other methods of eating a meat-free pie.

I still remember back in school, prior to going vegan, getting Four’N Twenty meat pies and a tomato sauce sachet for lunch. I would happily remove the top crust, squeeze in the tomato sauce and grab a spoon to mix the sauce through. Then proceed to eat the filling, then the pie crust and leave that crispy pastry top to last, which always had some leftover filling attached.

But it turns out, I have been doing it wrong all these years. After speaking with multiple groups of people, the consensus was one method above all others. But before we get to that, let’s discuss the various other methods of eating your meat-free pie.

 

1. The Pokey Method

It’s clear that those engaging in this method are not high on hygiene methods. Basically, after cooking your meat-free pie you stick the tomato sauce nozzle through the top crust and squeeze the tomato sauce into various spots. Removing the sauce bottle with the pie filling on the nozzle and basically a mess to clean up.

 

2. The Chomp Method

Self-explanatory, you cook it then chomp down on the pie exposing the warm inside without taking a second thought.

The Chomp Method

 

3. The Deconstructed Pie

This is my preferred method, but many have called me nuts for engaging in this sacrilegious practice.

Step 1: Remove the lid of the pie.
Step 2: Put tomato sauce on the filling.
Step 3: Eat the filling with a spoon
Step 4: Eat the pastry and the top lid.

 

4. The Etiquette Method

Using a knife and fork, you cut up your pie to allow you to dip each bite-size piece into a small dish of tomato sauce.  It reminds me of George Costanza eating his Snickers bar at the boardroom table and starting a trend. Who knows, maybe the etiquette method will catch on in society after Covid-19 has made us all very aware of how unhygienic we can be.

 

5. The Correct Method

After removing the pastry lid, squeeze the tomato sauce onto the meat-free filling, place the lid back on top. You can now eat your pie with its full pastry intact and crispy that makes the whole experience perfect.

Sauce Goes Here

 

You can now get your hands on Four’N Twenty Meat-Free Pies in a 4 pack at selected Woolworths across the country. But the most important question still remains.

How do you eat your meat-free pie?

 

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